One night down, two nights to go.
Opening night. There is nothing like it in the entire world. The energy is high, the nerves are higher. Audiences pump us full, we're on fire, ready to go.
It was an amazing night. We got laughs, we got sighs, some characters were loved, some were hated. They hit their cues, their jokes, their cast members (literally, Ramad gets slapped in the face).
After the show everyone was on cloud 9. The realization that comes with every opening night: "We've done it. All our hard work was worth it. They loved it. We had fun. Let's do it again!"
I think I had forgotten how much I love being back stage during shows. It's been a year and a half since I was sitting in the dark behind the curtains for a show. There is such a different energy behind the curtain compared to in the light booth. In the booth you get to watch the show, enjoy it again, comment on how it's going from out there, watch the audience react. Behind the curtain the energy is still high, but we have to try and contain it. It's like an atomic bomb waiting to explode as soon as they walk on stage. There are people saying the lines along with the characters on stage, people doing very quick changes, people running around silently as they loose their props and costume pieces. Instead of watching everything, you hear everything. You get to hug cast members after a scene they nailed. You get to attempt to stifle your laughs when a new joke is said (harder for me than for others).
I love theatre!
The show we are putting on will never be done again, not in the way we are doing it. The script will be revived, but this show is one of a kind. Every night the show is one of a kind. The characters the audience loved last night may not be the ones they love tonight. It is a constantly changing medium, and it is exciting! No matter how many times you watch a movie, it never changes. Theatre has a life that nothing else can come close to.
And can I just say how wonderful it is to perform for a mostly African American audience? They are so much more responsive than the majority white audiences back in Iowa. They give such a wonderful energy, yelling at the characters when something is happening. One of our favorite moments last night was when Vanessa said, "Is my family that messed up?" and someone said, "Yeah!" Such a different dynamic than I am used to, that I will miss when I go back.
So now we just have to do it two more times. I'm excited. Such a good way to end my stay here. But I don't want to think about leaving, not yet. Tuesday will come soon enough.
Until next time, pump up the energy!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Blank Page
I have had this blank new post page open and waiting for fifteen minutes. Nothing seems terribly pressing to write about.
Rehearsal was great tonight. We are ready for an audience, they're starting to get bored.
Ran around like a chicken with my head chopped off all day today, but that's starting to be normal.
Laughed a lot. Again, normal. Laughter is such a gift, you know?
Gave lots of hugs. Got lots of hugs. I love hugs.
God is good, you know? I don't have to think about Him constantly or work Him into every conversation. He's there. I'm here. Somehow, we always seem to meet in the middle somewhere.
That seems to be the extent of my thoughts tonight. I hard boiled some eggs, that's exciting, right?
Until next time, laugh.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Huxtables Lessons
It's been crunch time for "We Ain't the Huxtables" this week. Audiences pour into seats on Friday night. That means everyone has been working over time to get ready. My duties as assistant director have trickled into stage manager, scene designer, set dresser, props master, costume designer, and lighting designer. Stevie and I are the dynamic duo, taking on everything under the sun. I'm learning a lot. I'm utterly exhausted. I'm loving every minute.
I think it's time for a list. All the things I've learned (or been reminded of) in the last 72 hours concerning theatre:
1. Gaff tape covers a multiple of sins. Or scenic and lighting issues. Cords in the way? Gaff tape. Need a gel to cover a work light? Gaff tape. Need to hang a picture and don't want the knot to come undone? Gaff tape.
2. When all else fails lighting wise, run lots of extension cords and power strips to work lights on the edge of the stage. And then spray paint the work lights black, convincing yourself that the audience won't be able to see them.
3. Kitchen knives are not good replacements for Philip's head screw drivers. Enough said.
4. Microphones are the worst.
5. It doesn't matter if you just spent an afternoon cleaning the stage, organizing costumes, and setting up a props table. They will still leave trash all over, costumes on the floor, and props on stage. Should be used to it by now.
6. Setting a source 4 light fixture on it's lens is a very tippy position. Lay it down on it's side. Thanks, Mr. T. Now if I could only get Stevie to call "heads" when stuff is falling from above me.
7. The devil's in the details. No one but the designers/directors care if the white string holding up the pictures is painted black. No one cares that there are a few spots where the paint has come off the stage. No one cares if the couch has moved two inches.
8. Sometimes all the cast needs is fifteen minutes of goof off time before a rehearsal. Want to make up a song about some old lady's crusty feet? Whatever.
9. Ramad is never, ever allowed to tell my future children bed time stories. They will not be told stories about two dead pigs that got murdered by Little Red Riding Hood. I was traumatized. Doesn't relate to theatre directly, but I learned it today, so it made the list.
10. Don't let Stevie's aunt convince you that the set needs seven floral arrangements, three side tables, three lamps, and candles all over. It doesn't. Too much is too much.
11. It all comes together in the end. Amen, amen.
Until next time, what have you learned?
I think it's time for a list. All the things I've learned (or been reminded of) in the last 72 hours concerning theatre:
1. Gaff tape covers a multiple of sins. Or scenic and lighting issues. Cords in the way? Gaff tape. Need a gel to cover a work light? Gaff tape. Need to hang a picture and don't want the knot to come undone? Gaff tape.
2. When all else fails lighting wise, run lots of extension cords and power strips to work lights on the edge of the stage. And then spray paint the work lights black, convincing yourself that the audience won't be able to see them.
3. Kitchen knives are not good replacements for Philip's head screw drivers. Enough said.
4. Microphones are the worst.
5. It doesn't matter if you just spent an afternoon cleaning the stage, organizing costumes, and setting up a props table. They will still leave trash all over, costumes on the floor, and props on stage. Should be used to it by now.
6. Setting a source 4 light fixture on it's lens is a very tippy position. Lay it down on it's side. Thanks, Mr. T. Now if I could only get Stevie to call "heads" when stuff is falling from above me.
7. The devil's in the details. No one but the designers/directors care if the white string holding up the pictures is painted black. No one cares that there are a few spots where the paint has come off the stage. No one cares if the couch has moved two inches.
8. Sometimes all the cast needs is fifteen minutes of goof off time before a rehearsal. Want to make up a song about some old lady's crusty feet? Whatever.
9. Ramad is never, ever allowed to tell my future children bed time stories. They will not be told stories about two dead pigs that got murdered by Little Red Riding Hood. I was traumatized. Doesn't relate to theatre directly, but I learned it today, so it made the list.
10. Don't let Stevie's aunt convince you that the set needs seven floral arrangements, three side tables, three lamps, and candles all over. It doesn't. Too much is too much.
11. It all comes together in the end. Amen, amen.
Until next time, what have you learned?
A Picture's Worth
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to get less sleep
To barely see your roommates
To skip multiple meals a day
To fall asleep on the couch because you're too tired to move to the bed?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to spend all day hanging up pictures
To spend the next night taking them down and rehanging them
To make multiple trips to Walmart for the same thing
To build a door that doesn't open?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to spend your day with kids that don't want to be there
To hear mutters under their breath
To see their eye rolls
To be on the verge of tears every day?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to put your whole heart into something
To see the good work that shines through
To show people it wasn't in vain
To be proud of how far you've come?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to turn a stage into a home
To see eyes light up when magic happens
To cause laughter and crying
To change lives?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to give the kid a chance to speak
To let them have center stage
To show them what they have to say is important
To give them something to be proud of?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it to change lives
To heal
To show truth
To give life?
You tell me.
Until next time, find worth in what you're doing.
Is it worth it to get less sleep
To barely see your roommates
To skip multiple meals a day
To fall asleep on the couch because you're too tired to move to the bed?
Is it worth it to spend all day hanging up pictures
To spend the next night taking them down and rehanging them
To make multiple trips to Walmart for the same thing
To build a door that doesn't open?
Is it worth it to spend your day with kids that don't want to be there
To hear mutters under their breath
To see their eye rolls
To be on the verge of tears every day?
Is it worth it to put your whole heart into something
To see the good work that shines through
To show people it wasn't in vain
To be proud of how far you've come?
Is it worth it to turn a stage into a home
To see eyes light up when magic happens
To cause laughter and crying
To change lives?
Is it worth it to give the kid a chance to speak
To let them have center stage
To show them what they have to say is important
To give them something to be proud of?
Is it worth it to change lives
To heal
To show truth
To give life?
Until next time, find worth in what you're doing.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Lulling Waters
"I sank my feet down in the sand and just stood there letting the waves crash against me. The current made me feel like I was getting pulled in when I wasn't. It's like God: even when you're just standing there, He's going to make a way to pull you close to Him. Lull you to Him. We serve a romantic God." -- Stevie Walker-Webb
Tonight the cast hung out at the lake. It was fantastic. Stevie told me this as our night was drawing to a close. The sun had long ago gone down, the families had left the beach hours ago, and it was peaceful. I found myself many times just standing in the water as if I was soaking it in. I've felt so dry lately.
And I don't think it's just been because it's hot. I think dryness has taken hold of every part of my being. It's easy for me to ignore though, because I get to busy to notice. You know the dryness that happens when you haven't taken the time to just sit in one place for long enough to hear your own heart beat, to listen to nothing, to talk to God. That's the kind of dryness that suddenly became clear to me.
I've been living in a desert this summer. It seems easy to blend into the sea of Christians that surround me on a daily basis. I think that's where we most often get caught, trapped into feeling just okay when we have the ability to feel fantastic.
But maybe I'm just naive. Nonetheless, I think Stevie is right. God draws us towards Him no matter what. The ocean of His love draws us close.
I do know some things for sure. Water is restoring. Stars are beautiful (but not as bright here, I miss Midwest stars). Laughter is a gift. Friends are precious. And love is stronger than anything else.
Until next time, be lulled by a romantic God.
Tonight the cast hung out at the lake. It was fantastic. Stevie told me this as our night was drawing to a close. The sun had long ago gone down, the families had left the beach hours ago, and it was peaceful. I found myself many times just standing in the water as if I was soaking it in. I've felt so dry lately.
And I don't think it's just been because it's hot. I think dryness has taken hold of every part of my being. It's easy for me to ignore though, because I get to busy to notice. You know the dryness that happens when you haven't taken the time to just sit in one place for long enough to hear your own heart beat, to listen to nothing, to talk to God. That's the kind of dryness that suddenly became clear to me.
I've been living in a desert this summer. It seems easy to blend into the sea of Christians that surround me on a daily basis. I think that's where we most often get caught, trapped into feeling just okay when we have the ability to feel fantastic.
But maybe I'm just naive. Nonetheless, I think Stevie is right. God draws us towards Him no matter what. The ocean of His love draws us close.
I do know some things for sure. Water is restoring. Stars are beautiful (but not as bright here, I miss Midwest stars). Laughter is a gift. Friends are precious. And love is stronger than anything else.
Until next time, be lulled by a romantic God.
Great Souls
"'Stephan Daddah,' he replied, 'you are a Great Soul and in the presence of a Great Soul, words are not necessary.'" -- The City of Joy by Dominique Lapierre
Great Souls. I wonder what constitutes a Great Soul. It's an interesting thing to ponder.
The book I'm currently reading, City of Joy, is a book that is based on the stories of people who lived in Calcutta, India in the 1960's and 1970's. It is a heart breaking book, cataloging the lives of poor village people who moved to Calcutta, the most densely populated and poorest city in India, in the hope of finding work and creating a better life for themselves and their families. The Great Soul referenced is that of a Polish Priest who moved into the slum called Anand Nagar, the City of Joy. He gave up everything to live in the middle of a slum among the least of these, to serve those dying from leprosy and cholera and tuberculosis, forming relationships with Muslims and Hindus and Christians alike.
"'In the West,' Kolvalski was to note, 'people's gazes barely brush over you. That man's eyes revealed his entire soul.'"
How many Great Souls have I met in my life, even in the last eight weeks, but have brushed over in my Western haste? How many souls have I been given the option of seeing into, but haven't taken the time to merely look? And how many times has the Great Soul, my Lord and Savior, tried to tell me things but I haven't taken the time to look at what He has shown me?
The thought of so many missed Great Souls is sobering for me.
Hopefully the souls I have met and realized are Great are cherished. In a world like ours, Great Souls are needed. They are out there, we just need to look for them. And look for them in places we don't expect them to be.
I think if we're honest to ourselves as Christians, the church is sometimes the last place we'll find some of the truly Great Souls. Of course, there are wonderful people in the church, Great Souls. I think the souls we're meant to find are the souls we're meant to connect with, to love on, and perhaps share our God with. Having a Great Soul is not confined to just Christians.
I believe we all have the capacity to have a Great Soul. Maybe then it is just necessary for someone to realize our Great Souls. I don't think we can realize our own. I'm not sure if someone sat in a room with me in silence that my soul would be considered a Great Soul in which no words were necessary. Maybe someday. Right now I think it's too numb, to dead to the world.
These are all very new thoughts in my head, so I'm still pondering and mulling them over. I think sometimes those are the best thoughts to have. Sometimes we look for the simplest answers. The truly great questions probably don't have answers.
Until next time, take the time to look for Great Souls.
Great Souls. I wonder what constitutes a Great Soul. It's an interesting thing to ponder.
The book I'm currently reading, City of Joy, is a book that is based on the stories of people who lived in Calcutta, India in the 1960's and 1970's. It is a heart breaking book, cataloging the lives of poor village people who moved to Calcutta, the most densely populated and poorest city in India, in the hope of finding work and creating a better life for themselves and their families. The Great Soul referenced is that of a Polish Priest who moved into the slum called Anand Nagar, the City of Joy. He gave up everything to live in the middle of a slum among the least of these, to serve those dying from leprosy and cholera and tuberculosis, forming relationships with Muslims and Hindus and Christians alike.
"'In the West,' Kolvalski was to note, 'people's gazes barely brush over you. That man's eyes revealed his entire soul.'"
How many Great Souls have I met in my life, even in the last eight weeks, but have brushed over in my Western haste? How many souls have I been given the option of seeing into, but haven't taken the time to merely look? And how many times has the Great Soul, my Lord and Savior, tried to tell me things but I haven't taken the time to look at what He has shown me?
The thought of so many missed Great Souls is sobering for me.
Hopefully the souls I have met and realized are Great are cherished. In a world like ours, Great Souls are needed. They are out there, we just need to look for them. And look for them in places we don't expect them to be.
I think if we're honest to ourselves as Christians, the church is sometimes the last place we'll find some of the truly Great Souls. Of course, there are wonderful people in the church, Great Souls. I think the souls we're meant to find are the souls we're meant to connect with, to love on, and perhaps share our God with. Having a Great Soul is not confined to just Christians.
I believe we all have the capacity to have a Great Soul. Maybe then it is just necessary for someone to realize our Great Souls. I don't think we can realize our own. I'm not sure if someone sat in a room with me in silence that my soul would be considered a Great Soul in which no words were necessary. Maybe someday. Right now I think it's too numb, to dead to the world.
These are all very new thoughts in my head, so I'm still pondering and mulling them over. I think sometimes those are the best thoughts to have. Sometimes we look for the simplest answers. The truly great questions probably don't have answers.
Until next time, take the time to look for Great Souls.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Performance Peace
We made it. Last night was a giant success! The films were adorable, the performances were great, and we are done with kid's and youth theatre camp. Praise the Lord!
It was a crazy, crazy day. Up early to put the final touches on the films, fighting with the computer to write the discs, writing the program. Then rehearsal with the youth. It went well, but all the time I'm working with them, Stevie is trying to finish his movies and there are tons of things going through my mind that I know we still need to do.
So after our final rehearsal, the kids eat supper and I go to find Stevie. He's still scrambling, people are showing up at 5:30 to get seats (which I first thought was ridiculous, but turns out it was a good idea...). By 6:00 when we were supposed to start, every seat was full and there were people standing in the back. It was amazing.
The films went over so well, everyone loved them. The performances had a few hic-ups, but nothing major. They all did very well.
I was so proud of my four lady poets. I was able to watch them rather than having to stand behind the curtain to coach them. It turned out beautiful, and I'm so thankful. It was fantastic.
At times I didn't think we would pull it off. But it was a giant success. Afterwards, Stevie and I just basked in the doneness. One major component of our summer was over. It was a bitter-sweet high for us, as is all endings of shows. Bitter because we are going to miss it, sweet because the stress is gone. It was good, all good.
In retrospect, I think I learned more than the kids did. I learned more about myself and what I can handle and deal with than anything else. I learned I can handle a lot more than I thought I did. But I also learned that I am going to need to find a new way to deal with stress and frustrations. Too often I let them get the better of me.
I have so much racing around in my head right now that it's hard to concentrate, so I'm cutting myself off. Better to stop here than start writing gibberish.
Until next time, bask in the doneness of something.
It was a crazy, crazy day. Up early to put the final touches on the films, fighting with the computer to write the discs, writing the program. Then rehearsal with the youth. It went well, but all the time I'm working with them, Stevie is trying to finish his movies and there are tons of things going through my mind that I know we still need to do.
So after our final rehearsal, the kids eat supper and I go to find Stevie. He's still scrambling, people are showing up at 5:30 to get seats (which I first thought was ridiculous, but turns out it was a good idea...). By 6:00 when we were supposed to start, every seat was full and there were people standing in the back. It was amazing.
The films went over so well, everyone loved them. The performances had a few hic-ups, but nothing major. They all did very well.
I was so proud of my four lady poets. I was able to watch them rather than having to stand behind the curtain to coach them. It turned out beautiful, and I'm so thankful. It was fantastic.
At times I didn't think we would pull it off. But it was a giant success. Afterwards, Stevie and I just basked in the doneness. One major component of our summer was over. It was a bitter-sweet high for us, as is all endings of shows. Bitter because we are going to miss it, sweet because the stress is gone. It was good, all good.
In retrospect, I think I learned more than the kids did. I learned more about myself and what I can handle and deal with than anything else. I learned I can handle a lot more than I thought I did. But I also learned that I am going to need to find a new way to deal with stress and frustrations. Too often I let them get the better of me.
I have so much racing around in my head right now that it's hard to concentrate, so I'm cutting myself off. Better to stop here than start writing gibberish.
Until next time, bask in the doneness of something.
Rise Above
We did not ask to be put there
To be between friends
To be a barrier for the blows
To be the one begging
To be the one pleading
We did not ask to be put there
To be calling your name
To be ignored in blind fury
To be screaming
To be crying
We did not ask to be put there
But I'm glad we were
I'm glad we were part of that barrier
I'm glad we were begging
I'm glad we were pleading
I'm glad we were calling your name
But I wish that barrier wasn't needed
I wish we could have just gone home
I wish friendships could have been saved another blow
I wish you would have heard our cries
I wish you would have stopped
I wish you would have remembered
Remembered the love we have for you
Remembered the peace He gives us
Remembered who you were
Remembered to rise above
Until next time, rise above.
To be between friends
To be a barrier for the blows
To be the one begging
To be the one pleading
We did not ask to be put there
To be calling your name
To be ignored in blind fury
To be screaming
To be crying
We did not ask to be put there
But I'm glad we were
I'm glad we were part of that barrier
I'm glad we were begging
I'm glad we were pleading
I'm glad we were calling your name
But I wish that barrier wasn't needed
I wish we could have just gone home
I wish friendships could have been saved another blow
I wish you would have heard our cries
I wish you would have stopped
I wish you would have remembered
Remembered the love we have for you
Remembered the peace He gives us
Remembered who you were
Remembered to rise above
Until next time, rise above.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Directing Duds
I'm beginning to feel like a director. Some of these feelings stem from good things, some from bad. Guess that's how life is, right?
We'll start with the bad first, okay? Youth. I have such mixed feelings about it. The kids are so fun, I enjoy them all, but they don't listen. They don't care. Someone, I think it was Dixie, told me that I can't force anyone to love what I love. That has been made abundantly clear through working with them. I am learning loads about myself and what I can deal with. I pray they are learning something in the process as well. If nothing else, a little bit of structure.
Something I am learning I can't deal with are eye rolls. Irritates the heck out of me. But they're in junior high, I should expect it. What kills me is the fact that they are all great kids, every single one of them. They've just counted themselves out because everyone else in their lives have. It breaks my heart. If they don't learn anything else from these last weeks, I pray that they walk away with the knowledge that they can make a difference with the words they speak and write.
Tomorrow night we have our final performance. Our work for the last seven weeks comes down to this. I am praying it will go well. I pray more than four girls show up...
The good news is that the kid's films are 99% edited. I just have to add the names to the credits and they will be done. It is only by the grace of God that the music I found this afternoon in a blind rush fit perfectly into the movies. They both turned out really, really cute. I'm excited for the kids to see them tomorrow night.
So the best part of being a director (or assistant director, as the case may be)? Rehearsals like tonight's. Up until now, we've been cursed with an every-other night streak. One night will be amazing, the next not so much. Last night, such a good rehearsal. Tonight, even better! We broke our streak! The cast has really found their characters, made them their own. It's so exciting to watch! Stevie and I just sit there and grin, nodding our heads, laughing our butts off, giving each other an occasional high five. Such a good feeling! I get to give notes, and the notes I gave last night, they tried them tonight, and a lot of them were good notes! Bah, so great!
It's all falling into place. My heart is so happy, even if my mind is racing with all that I have left to do in the twelve days I have left in Waco. It's a little overwhelming, but by this time tomorrow, half of the load will be lightened. Then again, final week of rehearsal usually adds to the weight of a load. I'm so excited, though. It's going to be amazing!
I'm excited, can you tell?
Until next time, remember to take the good with the bad.
We'll start with the bad first, okay? Youth. I have such mixed feelings about it. The kids are so fun, I enjoy them all, but they don't listen. They don't care. Someone, I think it was Dixie, told me that I can't force anyone to love what I love. That has been made abundantly clear through working with them. I am learning loads about myself and what I can deal with. I pray they are learning something in the process as well. If nothing else, a little bit of structure.
Something I am learning I can't deal with are eye rolls. Irritates the heck out of me. But they're in junior high, I should expect it. What kills me is the fact that they are all great kids, every single one of them. They've just counted themselves out because everyone else in their lives have. It breaks my heart. If they don't learn anything else from these last weeks, I pray that they walk away with the knowledge that they can make a difference with the words they speak and write.
Tomorrow night we have our final performance. Our work for the last seven weeks comes down to this. I am praying it will go well. I pray more than four girls show up...
The good news is that the kid's films are 99% edited. I just have to add the names to the credits and they will be done. It is only by the grace of God that the music I found this afternoon in a blind rush fit perfectly into the movies. They both turned out really, really cute. I'm excited for the kids to see them tomorrow night.
So the best part of being a director (or assistant director, as the case may be)? Rehearsals like tonight's. Up until now, we've been cursed with an every-other night streak. One night will be amazing, the next not so much. Last night, such a good rehearsal. Tonight, even better! We broke our streak! The cast has really found their characters, made them their own. It's so exciting to watch! Stevie and I just sit there and grin, nodding our heads, laughing our butts off, giving each other an occasional high five. Such a good feeling! I get to give notes, and the notes I gave last night, they tried them tonight, and a lot of them were good notes! Bah, so great!
It's all falling into place. My heart is so happy, even if my mind is racing with all that I have left to do in the twelve days I have left in Waco. It's a little overwhelming, but by this time tomorrow, half of the load will be lightened. Then again, final week of rehearsal usually adds to the weight of a load. I'm so excited, though. It's going to be amazing!
I'm excited, can you tell?
Until next time, remember to take the good with the bad.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Rain Dance
It rained tonight. It was a good rain, too. Earlier this afternoon it rained, but it just made it more humid after the short shower. Tonight, the wind picked up and the rain was cold. Perfect.
After rehearsal while Stevie was talking to one of the cast members, I stood in the rain. It felt so good. As the cold rain fell on the concrete, I could feel the heat dissipate from the cement and mingle in the air with the cool breeze. I took my shoes off and stood in the puddles; the heat from the concrete heated the rain that flowed down the street to where the current stopped at the corner. It was the first time I remember being cold when I was outside this summer. It was wondrous.
In celebration of the wondrous magic I've been blessed with, and to remind me that the good outweighs the bad, I'm listing my wondrous magic from the day.
1. Obviously, the rain. Already explained.
2. Francisco. He is my absolute favorite little boy at the children's center. We filmed his group's movie today and he died a very dramatic, moving dinosaur death. He makes working with Amontrey, the cutest, most energetic terror imaginable, a little easier.
3. Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans. Aleah sent them to me in celebration of HP7 week. They are disgusting, but I love them. I don't think I'll eat them, but they make me really happy. As did the pictures she drew on the envelope.
4. Ranya and Jillian. The past thirty minutes they have been listening to really random music, telling stories, and dancing. They make me incredibly happy. I love living with them. Ranya just told me to make sure the door is locked so no one steals me.
5. Collaboration. Today during youth, Stevie came in and pretty much saved the artistic direction of the poetry group. I'm hoping more than four people come tomorrow so we can keep trucking along. Good work is going on, and I'm excited.
6. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. The final part of my late supper. Figured after a banana, peanut butter, and a salad, I could have some ice cream. Especially since I was going to just have the ice cream to begin with.
The good outweighs the bad. Tomorrow is a new day, and though the rain didn't refresh me emotionally or mentally like it did last time, my God can do that. Sometimes physical refreshment is the first step.
Until next time, list your wondrous magical blessings.
After rehearsal while Stevie was talking to one of the cast members, I stood in the rain. It felt so good. As the cold rain fell on the concrete, I could feel the heat dissipate from the cement and mingle in the air with the cool breeze. I took my shoes off and stood in the puddles; the heat from the concrete heated the rain that flowed down the street to where the current stopped at the corner. It was the first time I remember being cold when I was outside this summer. It was wondrous.
In celebration of the wondrous magic I've been blessed with, and to remind me that the good outweighs the bad, I'm listing my wondrous magic from the day.
1. Obviously, the rain. Already explained.
2. Francisco. He is my absolute favorite little boy at the children's center. We filmed his group's movie today and he died a very dramatic, moving dinosaur death. He makes working with Amontrey, the cutest, most energetic terror imaginable, a little easier.
3. Bertie Bots Every Flavor Beans. Aleah sent them to me in celebration of HP7 week. They are disgusting, but I love them. I don't think I'll eat them, but they make me really happy. As did the pictures she drew on the envelope.
4. Ranya and Jillian. The past thirty minutes they have been listening to really random music, telling stories, and dancing. They make me incredibly happy. I love living with them. Ranya just told me to make sure the door is locked so no one steals me.
5. Collaboration. Today during youth, Stevie came in and pretty much saved the artistic direction of the poetry group. I'm hoping more than four people come tomorrow so we can keep trucking along. Good work is going on, and I'm excited.
6. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. The final part of my late supper. Figured after a banana, peanut butter, and a salad, I could have some ice cream. Especially since I was going to just have the ice cream to begin with.
The good outweighs the bad. Tomorrow is a new day, and though the rain didn't refresh me emotionally or mentally like it did last time, my God can do that. Sometimes physical refreshment is the first step.
Until next time, list your wondrous magical blessings.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Instant Gratification
It has been a busy week of filming, poetry, rehearsals, piercings, and Harry Potter. No wonder I haven't blogged in a few days.
With the last few rehearsals of Huxtables and the time spent helping Ramad work on memorizing his monologue, I've been working through the idea of instant gratification. Ramad's character is the son who grew up in the church, but after the death of his younger brother, turned atheist. In an attempt to do his own research on cancer, he becomes a drug dealer to make money. This is the first chunk of his monologue:
What's right, what's wrong. What I need, what I want. What's real, what's fake. What I've been given, what I must take. Gotta somehow make this crooked road straight, gotta get to this money before it's too late. Gotta live my life, just being's a waste. Can't look at who's gone before me, gotta make my own way. Hustling, struggling, I'm living to survive, not to thrive. Still knowing that the odds are against me, I play the game of life. Instant gratification, I'm wasting time.
So many of the people I work with every day have an instant gratification mindset. I've noticed especially in the context of the multiple kinds of rehearsals I go to and lead every week.
With the children, they didn't understand why we didn't start filming the very first day. No one wants to practice the parts, they just want to film it. The final product is all they can see. Their focus and energy isn't on rehearsal, it's on standing in front of that camera.
The idea of rehearsal is completely foreign to the youth. The other day we were blocking some shadow movement and when I asked them to do it again, one of the guys said, "We're bored. We've done it twice." My response is, "But you haven't done it right yet, you're still confused on what to do." I do not expect perfection, but I want to make sure they all know what they're doing.
Sometimes even the cast has this mindset when Stevie asks them to enter again or say the line again.
It has been so interesting to see this mindset carry on through three different age groups. Yes, the idea of rehearsal becomes more known and accepted as the age group gets older, but the idea of instant gratification still rings through. I know even with myself this is something I deal with. Heck, I think it's probably a mindset that America has given us. We are used to getting what we want and need quickly.
But all good things come to those who wait. We are told to wait upon the Lord, that He will give us joy and peace and all that we need. It is in our nature to want the newest thing, to desire to be the best at something the first time, to succeed in life the first couple years after college, to find a spouse before a certain point in time.
To help Ramad remember the instant gratification line, I snapped. A simple motion to go with the line. Reminds me of Mary Poppin's cleaning methods. "Snap, the job's a game." Everything flies into place, beds are made, books put away, clothes hung up. Seems like a dream. But too many snaps, too many expectations for things to be done right away without having to put in the work to do them, and chaos ensues. Things are flying left and right, closets won't let little boys out, balls are bouncing all over the place. It's a mess.
Expecting too much and not putting in the work to get it done brings chaos and crushed hope when our expectations are not met. But God tells us not to worry about tomorrow, to hope only in Him, and to expect hard times and struggles. Instant gratification is not in God's plans.
Until next time, take the time to do a job right and remember a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.
With the last few rehearsals of Huxtables and the time spent helping Ramad work on memorizing his monologue, I've been working through the idea of instant gratification. Ramad's character is the son who grew up in the church, but after the death of his younger brother, turned atheist. In an attempt to do his own research on cancer, he becomes a drug dealer to make money. This is the first chunk of his monologue:
What's right, what's wrong. What I need, what I want. What's real, what's fake. What I've been given, what I must take. Gotta somehow make this crooked road straight, gotta get to this money before it's too late. Gotta live my life, just being's a waste. Can't look at who's gone before me, gotta make my own way. Hustling, struggling, I'm living to survive, not to thrive. Still knowing that the odds are against me, I play the game of life. Instant gratification, I'm wasting time.
So many of the people I work with every day have an instant gratification mindset. I've noticed especially in the context of the multiple kinds of rehearsals I go to and lead every week.
With the children, they didn't understand why we didn't start filming the very first day. No one wants to practice the parts, they just want to film it. The final product is all they can see. Their focus and energy isn't on rehearsal, it's on standing in front of that camera.
The idea of rehearsal is completely foreign to the youth. The other day we were blocking some shadow movement and when I asked them to do it again, one of the guys said, "We're bored. We've done it twice." My response is, "But you haven't done it right yet, you're still confused on what to do." I do not expect perfection, but I want to make sure they all know what they're doing.
Sometimes even the cast has this mindset when Stevie asks them to enter again or say the line again.
It has been so interesting to see this mindset carry on through three different age groups. Yes, the idea of rehearsal becomes more known and accepted as the age group gets older, but the idea of instant gratification still rings through. I know even with myself this is something I deal with. Heck, I think it's probably a mindset that America has given us. We are used to getting what we want and need quickly.
But all good things come to those who wait. We are told to wait upon the Lord, that He will give us joy and peace and all that we need. It is in our nature to want the newest thing, to desire to be the best at something the first time, to succeed in life the first couple years after college, to find a spouse before a certain point in time.
To help Ramad remember the instant gratification line, I snapped. A simple motion to go with the line. Reminds me of Mary Poppin's cleaning methods. "Snap, the job's a game." Everything flies into place, beds are made, books put away, clothes hung up. Seems like a dream. But too many snaps, too many expectations for things to be done right away without having to put in the work to do them, and chaos ensues. Things are flying left and right, closets won't let little boys out, balls are bouncing all over the place. It's a mess.
Expecting too much and not putting in the work to get it done brings chaos and crushed hope when our expectations are not met. But God tells us not to worry about tomorrow, to hope only in Him, and to expect hard times and struggles. Instant gratification is not in God's plans.
Until next time, take the time to do a job right and remember a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
River Bends
I had visitors this week. My mom and grandma made a 14 hour detour on their way from Arizona to Nebraska to see me. I feel really loved, it's been wonderful.
They pulled into town Monday afternoon around 3:30. Since then they have followed me to rehearsal twice, hung out at home, ate at the World Cup Cafe, stopped by the Clothesline second hand store, saw fifteen minutes of filming for the kid's program, an hour of youth poetry group, cooked fried chicken, and made me really happy.
I'm glad they came. It's been good to show how I spend my time here, let them see my world, introduce them to my friends that have become my summer family.
And a huge bonus, we had our first run through of Huxtables tonight, and it went so, so well! It was great to see a complete, though a little choppy, show coming all together. Plus, Mom and Grandma loved it, so that's a good sign. Such a good rehearsal, everything is falling into place.
But then Mom had to go badgering me about my future. I know she's worried about it, but I'm not. I feel a lot like Pocahontas right now. Her dad wanted her to choose the smoothest course. I don't know if the smoothest course is the right course for me. I want to be open to the colors of the wind, a.k.a. God. Sorry Mom, my future hasn't fallen into place yet, and I kind of like it that way. I'm trying to live for now, taking advantage of what I have now, making future plans only when absolutely necessary. I'll figure it out eventually, but for now, I'm looking forward to seeing what's just around the river bend, not what's 100 miles down the river.
Obviously, I'm watching Pocahontas now. It was my favorite movie when I was 5. Makes me very happy. And a little nostalgic.
Until next time, see where the colors of the wind take you and be thankful for the visitors in your life today.
They pulled into town Monday afternoon around 3:30. Since then they have followed me to rehearsal twice, hung out at home, ate at the World Cup Cafe, stopped by the Clothesline second hand store, saw fifteen minutes of filming for the kid's program, an hour of youth poetry group, cooked fried chicken, and made me really happy.
I'm glad they came. It's been good to show how I spend my time here, let them see my world, introduce them to my friends that have become my summer family.
And a huge bonus, we had our first run through of Huxtables tonight, and it went so, so well! It was great to see a complete, though a little choppy, show coming all together. Plus, Mom and Grandma loved it, so that's a good sign. Such a good rehearsal, everything is falling into place.
But then Mom had to go badgering me about my future. I know she's worried about it, but I'm not. I feel a lot like Pocahontas right now. Her dad wanted her to choose the smoothest course. I don't know if the smoothest course is the right course for me. I want to be open to the colors of the wind, a.k.a. God. Sorry Mom, my future hasn't fallen into place yet, and I kind of like it that way. I'm trying to live for now, taking advantage of what I have now, making future plans only when absolutely necessary. I'll figure it out eventually, but for now, I'm looking forward to seeing what's just around the river bend, not what's 100 miles down the river.
Obviously, I'm watching Pocahontas now. It was my favorite movie when I was 5. Makes me very happy. And a little nostalgic.
Until next time, see where the colors of the wind take you and be thankful for the visitors in your life today.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Alarming Proceedings
I've spent my whole life living somewhere I've never had to worry about my safety. Never have I worried about anything more than the opossums and raccoons that occasionally take up residence under our front porch. Once in awhile we'll hear a mountain lion howling from the shelter belt surrounding our house.
Tonight was my first real experience of being scared in "my house." Granted, I kinda live in the ghetto for the summer, boarded up crack house next door, drug deals regularly go down on the streets near by, prostitutes take up residence on the corners down the street. But we've all lived peacefully together; they don't bother us, we don't call the cops. Pretty straight forward.
Tonight we called the cops. Twice.
We got back home around 10:00, not terribly late for six college kids. Standing by their car parked in front of the basketball court next door were two guys, one of which walked down the sidewalk between us and our door while we were in our car, then doubling back to the other guy. We were a little creeped out, but we figured it was fine when they left. Bruce went home, we set the alarm system, figured all was well.
Fifteen minutes later, the sensor in the back yard went off. Jillian said she heard guy's voices from their bathroom. No one we could see was around, but we called the cops to alert them, called Kathy to let her know what was going on, called Bruce to fill him in. The cop showed up, told her what had happened, she told us that she'd check things out. Bruce and Carlton (programs director for Mission Waco) showed up, checked things out. Saw a couple other sketchy guys walking down the street, who turned and went back the way they came from as soon as they saw Carlton. Creepy.
Bruce decided to spend the night on the couch, which we five girls appreciated. With him, Bailey's knife, and Katie's taser, we figured we'd be well protected. Carlton left, we set the alarm again.
Then two more cars pulled up and parked in front of the basketball court. Our alarm went off again as they drove off. So we called the cops again, explained everything to a different guy. Needless to say, we're all on high alert.
I don't know if I'm scared. I was at first. Now I think I'm just apprehensive, nervous. My God is bigger, He is stronger, He is mighty to save. He is my protector and my comforter. I truly should not fear, but that darn human nature of mine. Fight or flight -- given the choice, I'd flee. That's how I am. Avoid any kind of confrontation possible.
We will be fine, I have no doubt about it. Cops are driving around, Bruce is on our couch, the alarm is set, the doors are locked. There is nothing more we can do but trust in God's promises.
Good thing to happen as my mom and grandma are driving here to see me. Great impression they'll have of the neighborhood I've lived in the past seven weeks.
It's a new concept, not feeling completely safe. Something that unfortunately a lot of people have to deal with all of the time.
Until next time, thank the Lord for your safety, pray for those that don't have the same.
Tonight was my first real experience of being scared in "my house." Granted, I kinda live in the ghetto for the summer, boarded up crack house next door, drug deals regularly go down on the streets near by, prostitutes take up residence on the corners down the street. But we've all lived peacefully together; they don't bother us, we don't call the cops. Pretty straight forward.
Tonight we called the cops. Twice.
We got back home around 10:00, not terribly late for six college kids. Standing by their car parked in front of the basketball court next door were two guys, one of which walked down the sidewalk between us and our door while we were in our car, then doubling back to the other guy. We were a little creeped out, but we figured it was fine when they left. Bruce went home, we set the alarm system, figured all was well.
Fifteen minutes later, the sensor in the back yard went off. Jillian said she heard guy's voices from their bathroom. No one we could see was around, but we called the cops to alert them, called Kathy to let her know what was going on, called Bruce to fill him in. The cop showed up, told her what had happened, she told us that she'd check things out. Bruce and Carlton (programs director for Mission Waco) showed up, checked things out. Saw a couple other sketchy guys walking down the street, who turned and went back the way they came from as soon as they saw Carlton. Creepy.
Bruce decided to spend the night on the couch, which we five girls appreciated. With him, Bailey's knife, and Katie's taser, we figured we'd be well protected. Carlton left, we set the alarm again.
Then two more cars pulled up and parked in front of the basketball court. Our alarm went off again as they drove off. So we called the cops again, explained everything to a different guy. Needless to say, we're all on high alert.
I don't know if I'm scared. I was at first. Now I think I'm just apprehensive, nervous. My God is bigger, He is stronger, He is mighty to save. He is my protector and my comforter. I truly should not fear, but that darn human nature of mine. Fight or flight -- given the choice, I'd flee. That's how I am. Avoid any kind of confrontation possible.
We will be fine, I have no doubt about it. Cops are driving around, Bruce is on our couch, the alarm is set, the doors are locked. There is nothing more we can do but trust in God's promises.
Good thing to happen as my mom and grandma are driving here to see me. Great impression they'll have of the neighborhood I've lived in the past seven weeks.
It's a new concept, not feeling completely safe. Something that unfortunately a lot of people have to deal with all of the time.
Until next time, thank the Lord for your safety, pray for those that don't have the same.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Comfortable Ruts
Do you ever get the feeling you're stuck in a rut?
Sadly, or maybe not sadly, I think my life in Waco may be becoming a rut. Not necessarily a bad rut, but I'm not sure if there are really good ruts either. This is a totally new thought, so I'm still puzzling...
I have a schedule, somewhere I have to be almost everyday. And when I'm not there, I'm too exhausted to do much more than come home and just chill. It's kind of ridiculous how much time I spend at home. Then again, when you get done with rehearsal that lasted four hours instead of three, I guess there's a reason for that exhaustion.
Sometimes I just worry that I'm not allowing myself the chances to do something beyond what this internship has become. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I'm doing here this summer, I can't imagine a better way to spend my two months. But am I becoming too comfortable in the world that just seven weeks ago I had a hard time adjusting to?
I expect such things to happen at home, but I didn't figure this level of comfort would be found so far from where I usually find comfort. It's unexpected, a little jarring, and yet a very reassuring realization as well.
You can find home anywhere. I've found it in Waco. And unfortunately, I'm leaving in about three weeks. That kinda sucks...really sucks. If it wasn't for the fact school starts up again in about a month, that would be a very sad thought for me.
But, I have a feeling new adventures always make themselves known when comfort is found where your last adventure took you.
Until next time, find comfort, but get ready for your next adventure too.
Sadly, or maybe not sadly, I think my life in Waco may be becoming a rut. Not necessarily a bad rut, but I'm not sure if there are really good ruts either. This is a totally new thought, so I'm still puzzling...
I have a schedule, somewhere I have to be almost everyday. And when I'm not there, I'm too exhausted to do much more than come home and just chill. It's kind of ridiculous how much time I spend at home. Then again, when you get done with rehearsal that lasted four hours instead of three, I guess there's a reason for that exhaustion.
Sometimes I just worry that I'm not allowing myself the chances to do something beyond what this internship has become. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I'm doing here this summer, I can't imagine a better way to spend my two months. But am I becoming too comfortable in the world that just seven weeks ago I had a hard time adjusting to?
I expect such things to happen at home, but I didn't figure this level of comfort would be found so far from where I usually find comfort. It's unexpected, a little jarring, and yet a very reassuring realization as well.
You can find home anywhere. I've found it in Waco. And unfortunately, I'm leaving in about three weeks. That kinda sucks...really sucks. If it wasn't for the fact school starts up again in about a month, that would be a very sad thought for me.
But, I have a feeling new adventures always make themselves known when comfort is found where your last adventure took you.
Until next time, find comfort, but get ready for your next adventure too.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Power of Words
You know those times when you are wired but exhausted, when sleep is needed, but won't come because your mind is spinning and every cell in your body is screaming, "Get up! Don't just lay here! There is something you need to be doing!"
Tonight is one of those nights. It's pushing 12:30 and I am no closer to going to sleep than half of the cast that went to Applebee's at 11:00, the invitation I turned down so I could go to sleep. Go figure, huh?
Today was one of those days when many realizations were made, when I saw some things I didn't want to see, reminded of things I'd rather forget, but was still loved despite the crap I bring to the table every day.
Our use of language is something that we often take for granted. We talk to be heard, to say our opinions, to get rid of silence, to hear ourselves, to work through issues, to encourage and love. We often write for the same reasons. However, our words written or typed are around for a lot longer. Something spoken can be sluffed off, forgotten easier than something that is written down, posted somewhere.
I am beginning to realize the thin line I have been flirting with in writing this blog. If anything I have posted has offended you in anyway, I am truly and deeply sorry. It was never, ever my intention to hurt anyone with my words.
Today during our intern meeting, as well as the last couple weeks at church, we have been talking a lot about our spiritual gifts. I like to think that my main spiritual gifts are teaching and encouraging. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than giving someone a hug and telling them how great they are doing or lifting some one's spirits. I am encouraged when others tell me they are encouraged by me.
But words that can cripple can come forth just as easily as words that can encourage. I am realizing this more and more. Truth be told, this scares me. I understand the power that my words can have on someone, the power their words have on me, and it scares me to have this power.
I am not going to remove anything I have posted on this blog before because at the time, what I wrote was truth, it was necessary for me to write for my own reasons and I don't feel as though I have to defend myself beyond that. And I will not promise to make any future posts completely harm free, I have no power over what one person takes offensive. All I can ask is that in reading my blog, you know that the people I am working with, living alongside, and learning from have become very, very special to me. I love each and everyone one of them and value them dearly. Remember that, please.
This summer has already shown me a lot about myself, a lot that I didn't want to see. I think that is a good thing, I think I am becoming a stronger person because of it. Thank you for taking this moon journey with me.
Until next time, realize your power and use it for good.
Tonight is one of those nights. It's pushing 12:30 and I am no closer to going to sleep than half of the cast that went to Applebee's at 11:00, the invitation I turned down so I could go to sleep. Go figure, huh?
Today was one of those days when many realizations were made, when I saw some things I didn't want to see, reminded of things I'd rather forget, but was still loved despite the crap I bring to the table every day.
Our use of language is something that we often take for granted. We talk to be heard, to say our opinions, to get rid of silence, to hear ourselves, to work through issues, to encourage and love. We often write for the same reasons. However, our words written or typed are around for a lot longer. Something spoken can be sluffed off, forgotten easier than something that is written down, posted somewhere.
I am beginning to realize the thin line I have been flirting with in writing this blog. If anything I have posted has offended you in anyway, I am truly and deeply sorry. It was never, ever my intention to hurt anyone with my words.
Today during our intern meeting, as well as the last couple weeks at church, we have been talking a lot about our spiritual gifts. I like to think that my main spiritual gifts are teaching and encouraging. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than giving someone a hug and telling them how great they are doing or lifting some one's spirits. I am encouraged when others tell me they are encouraged by me.
But words that can cripple can come forth just as easily as words that can encourage. I am realizing this more and more. Truth be told, this scares me. I understand the power that my words can have on someone, the power their words have on me, and it scares me to have this power.
I am not going to remove anything I have posted on this blog before because at the time, what I wrote was truth, it was necessary for me to write for my own reasons and I don't feel as though I have to defend myself beyond that. And I will not promise to make any future posts completely harm free, I have no power over what one person takes offensive. All I can ask is that in reading my blog, you know that the people I am working with, living alongside, and learning from have become very, very special to me. I love each and everyone one of them and value them dearly. Remember that, please.
This summer has already shown me a lot about myself, a lot that I didn't want to see. I think that is a good thing, I think I am becoming a stronger person because of it. Thank you for taking this moon journey with me.
Until next time, realize your power and use it for good.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Theatre Mess
The first week I was in Texas, Kathy described someone as, "She is just mess." In this context, "mess" means they just create mess wherever they are in terms of relationships -- think drama queen, gossip, pain in the butt all rolled into one.
After tonight, I've decided theatre at it's worst is caused by mess.
There is a difference between "messy" theatre and "mess" theatre. Messy is a stage that theatre goes through, mess is an actor issue. We Ain't the Huxtables had both tonight.
A messy scene can be cleaned up and polished by new direction, new blocking, new interpretations, new energy.
A mess actor can be cleaned up only when he or she decides to pull their crap together.
But until this happens, it is impossible for a messy scene to be cleaned up. When a mess actor shuts down, no longer accepting any direction, the scene is ruined. The energy remains low, the frustration grows, and everyone wants to walk away and give up.
I love the actors I am privileged to work with, but tonight the majority of them were frustrating. I don't know what's going on with all of them personally, if they had an awful day or if they didn't sleep at all the night before. But even if that was the case, a boss wouldn't take that as an excuse. It is so frustrating to sit in my seat next to Stevie and see a scene that was beautiful, maybe not perfect, but beautiful the night before be trashed tonight.
Being human, we aren't good at taking criticism. No one wants to hear about how crappy they are doing. And though Stevie and I try to be very positive and uplifting (which some directors are not), when they can not take the constructive criticism and run with it, we get frustrated. Shutting down and not trying anymore doesn't make anything better.
This is my venting process. Please do not take anything that I'm writing the wrong way -- I love the people I get to work with every night at rehearsal, all of them are very talented, very lovely people. Tonight was rough, but tomorrow will be better. Our cast seems to have an every-other rehearsal pattern of awesomeness. We just need to get rid of our mess.
Until next time, rid your life of mess, take a deep breath, and start again.
After tonight, I've decided theatre at it's worst is caused by mess.
There is a difference between "messy" theatre and "mess" theatre. Messy is a stage that theatre goes through, mess is an actor issue. We Ain't the Huxtables had both tonight.
A messy scene can be cleaned up and polished by new direction, new blocking, new interpretations, new energy.
A mess actor can be cleaned up only when he or she decides to pull their crap together.
But until this happens, it is impossible for a messy scene to be cleaned up. When a mess actor shuts down, no longer accepting any direction, the scene is ruined. The energy remains low, the frustration grows, and everyone wants to walk away and give up.
I love the actors I am privileged to work with, but tonight the majority of them were frustrating. I don't know what's going on with all of them personally, if they had an awful day or if they didn't sleep at all the night before. But even if that was the case, a boss wouldn't take that as an excuse. It is so frustrating to sit in my seat next to Stevie and see a scene that was beautiful, maybe not perfect, but beautiful the night before be trashed tonight.
Being human, we aren't good at taking criticism. No one wants to hear about how crappy they are doing. And though Stevie and I try to be very positive and uplifting (which some directors are not), when they can not take the constructive criticism and run with it, we get frustrated. Shutting down and not trying anymore doesn't make anything better.
This is my venting process. Please do not take anything that I'm writing the wrong way -- I love the people I get to work with every night at rehearsal, all of them are very talented, very lovely people. Tonight was rough, but tomorrow will be better. Our cast seems to have an every-other rehearsal pattern of awesomeness. We just need to get rid of our mess.
Until next time, rid your life of mess, take a deep breath, and start again.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Chaos and Creation
Today was so chaotic. But so good! My God is so good! When feel like I couldn't possibly do anything, He gives me strength to keep going. It is an overwhelming feeling of pure blessings.
Yesterday was probably the worst day I've had this summer. I finished both kids and youth camp feeling completely defeated, like nothing I did had any positive influence or was constructive. Truthfully, I wanted to give up, to just go home with my mom this weekend and not have to deal with it anymore. Top that off with a migraine and you'll understand why I left rehearsal early and was in bed by 9:30.
But today, oh today, was so much better! I prayed that God would fill me with peace and patience and understanding and love for the kids I would be working with. At times I slipped up, got frustrated, had to yell to get control of the room, but truthfully, I think that's the only way they respond sometimes. It is amazing how much can change with your attitude in one day. We had fun, we got stuff done, and we only had to do a five minute time out.
At youth I had the kids spend an hour writing. Granted, they didn't write poetry for an hour straight, but they all wrote and they all walked away with something. Sure, I will have to revamp some of it, but there are a couple poems that turned out really, really wonderful. During the piece, the stage will be dark and the only light will be shining through a white curtain. Shadow work. I'm so excited! We did a little bit today, but it's obvious that I will have to stage and position almost all of their freezes behind the curtain. That's fine, we'll work on it next week. For today, it was enough.
Rehearsal tonight was the cherry on the top. We got a bit of a late start when the techie showed up to work on mics, sound, and lights, but the cast was great, breaking off and working on lines on their own. Our late start didn't inhibit our energy level. It was great. We got a little crazy at times, but that's the point -- theatre is supposed to be fun!
God, you are great. Thank you, Lord, thank you.
Until next time, smile and look for strength in the One who can give it to you.
Yesterday was probably the worst day I've had this summer. I finished both kids and youth camp feeling completely defeated, like nothing I did had any positive influence or was constructive. Truthfully, I wanted to give up, to just go home with my mom this weekend and not have to deal with it anymore. Top that off with a migraine and you'll understand why I left rehearsal early and was in bed by 9:30.
But today, oh today, was so much better! I prayed that God would fill me with peace and patience and understanding and love for the kids I would be working with. At times I slipped up, got frustrated, had to yell to get control of the room, but truthfully, I think that's the only way they respond sometimes. It is amazing how much can change with your attitude in one day. We had fun, we got stuff done, and we only had to do a five minute time out.
At youth I had the kids spend an hour writing. Granted, they didn't write poetry for an hour straight, but they all wrote and they all walked away with something. Sure, I will have to revamp some of it, but there are a couple poems that turned out really, really wonderful. During the piece, the stage will be dark and the only light will be shining through a white curtain. Shadow work. I'm so excited! We did a little bit today, but it's obvious that I will have to stage and position almost all of their freezes behind the curtain. That's fine, we'll work on it next week. For today, it was enough.
Rehearsal tonight was the cherry on the top. We got a bit of a late start when the techie showed up to work on mics, sound, and lights, but the cast was great, breaking off and working on lines on their own. Our late start didn't inhibit our energy level. It was great. We got a little crazy at times, but that's the point -- theatre is supposed to be fun!
God, you are great. Thank you, Lord, thank you.
Until next time, smile and look for strength in the One who can give it to you.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Fourth Right Feelings
It will be the 4th of July for another 8 minutes. I should probably be in bed still, but since I stayed in bed reading all morning, I feel like staying up a little late is totally acceptable.
I didn't get to light a single firework off this year. Sad, right? Burn bans in Waco and the surrounding county didn't allow for a single smoke bomb or sparkler to be lit. Didn't really feel like 4th of July without playing with fire. Plus we watched fireworks from on top of a parking garage. At first this sounded like a good idea, but some of the magic of fireworks gets lost when you are looking straight at them and not up at them.
Granted, it was a great time to hang out with some fellow Mission Waco people, but it made me miss my family. When I texted my brother Josh asking if they were lighting fireworks his reply was, "They get less exciting the older you get."
He's totally right. And I've decided this applies to so much more than fireworks.
Think about how excited little boys get about tractors that drive by or firetrucks when they have their sirens going off. Or little girls about wearing pretty dresses and having tea parties. Or even the excitement of going to Grandma's house or church or school. Where does all that excitment go? And why does it go?
Why is it so hard for us to get excited about simple things, like getting to go to a movie at the theatre or getting an ice cream cone? Why don't we find as much joy in swinging or playing a game of tag? Why don't flowers look as pretty? Why do clouds seem shapeless where there used to be animals floating across the sky? Why do hugs from mom and dad seem less important or time spent around the dinner table seem boring? Why can't we enjoy fireworks like we used to?
Because we don't let ourselves.
We have this stupid idea that we have to grow up, that for some reason we can't pick wildflowers out of stranger's yards or run in the sprinkler or gaze at the clouds looking for an elephant. Lost is the simplicity of life, the joy in the little things, the amazement that was often found at the smallest of wonders.
I think at times, Peter Pan had it right, at least part of it. I don't mean we should run away from our responsibilities, live like a child, dependant on others for everything, never mature or grow up. But the idea that a part of us can stay like a child, can have that childlike wonder and amazement strikes me as something to be desired, to be sought after. A childlike faith, one that whole heartedly follows what it loves and desires, one that doesn't ask unnecessary questions or doubts when it has no reason to, that is what we need. We need to allow ourselves the chance to see fireworks and be amazed.
Until next time, find an animal in the clouds, get excited about something little.
I didn't get to light a single firework off this year. Sad, right? Burn bans in Waco and the surrounding county didn't allow for a single smoke bomb or sparkler to be lit. Didn't really feel like 4th of July without playing with fire. Plus we watched fireworks from on top of a parking garage. At first this sounded like a good idea, but some of the magic of fireworks gets lost when you are looking straight at them and not up at them.
Granted, it was a great time to hang out with some fellow Mission Waco people, but it made me miss my family. When I texted my brother Josh asking if they were lighting fireworks his reply was, "They get less exciting the older you get."
He's totally right. And I've decided this applies to so much more than fireworks.
Think about how excited little boys get about tractors that drive by or firetrucks when they have their sirens going off. Or little girls about wearing pretty dresses and having tea parties. Or even the excitement of going to Grandma's house or church or school. Where does all that excitment go? And why does it go?
Why is it so hard for us to get excited about simple things, like getting to go to a movie at the theatre or getting an ice cream cone? Why don't we find as much joy in swinging or playing a game of tag? Why don't flowers look as pretty? Why do clouds seem shapeless where there used to be animals floating across the sky? Why do hugs from mom and dad seem less important or time spent around the dinner table seem boring? Why can't we enjoy fireworks like we used to?
Because we don't let ourselves.
We have this stupid idea that we have to grow up, that for some reason we can't pick wildflowers out of stranger's yards or run in the sprinkler or gaze at the clouds looking for an elephant. Lost is the simplicity of life, the joy in the little things, the amazement that was often found at the smallest of wonders.
I think at times, Peter Pan had it right, at least part of it. I don't mean we should run away from our responsibilities, live like a child, dependant on others for everything, never mature or grow up. But the idea that a part of us can stay like a child, can have that childlike wonder and amazement strikes me as something to be desired, to be sought after. A childlike faith, one that whole heartedly follows what it loves and desires, one that doesn't ask unnecessary questions or doubts when it has no reason to, that is what we need. We need to allow ourselves the chance to see fireworks and be amazed.
Until next time, find an animal in the clouds, get excited about something little.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Critique by Creating
Everyone is given the ability to create. The things I create are different from what you create, but creators we are nonetheless. We are creators because God is a creator.
I am still reading through "UnChristian," and though I'm getting closer to the end, the vast amount of stuff that is being talked about still kind of makes my head spin. The chapters I read today were about the ideas that Christians appear to outsiders to be too political and too judgemental.
Truth be told, I couldn't really connect with the too political standpoint. I don't put much thought into that stuff (which is a down fall on my part, I know). But one point that was made really intrigued me. David Kinnaman referenced Michelangelo's philosophy, "Critique by creating." Kinnaman had a helpful suggestion for Christlike people: "Rather than being known for criticism, let's learn to step in and work toward a solution for the problems we see."
I like Michelangelo's idea -- say something about the world through what you make. Make things that promote something better, something positive for the world around you.
Art for the sake of art is something that my opinion for is starting to change. I am not against doing art because you love it, because it moves you, but I think there should be more reason than just the focus on yourself. Art is meant to be seen and experienced by others, and those experiences that you create can have an impact on others that you don't realize when first creating something. I don't think you should over analyze it, but I think you should be aware that what you are creating impacts people.
Theatre artists don't rehearse for months just to put on a show to an empty theatre. We want our work to be seen, to move people, to change their attitudes even a little from where they were when they walked in to where they were when they walked out. The director or designer's decisions make a huge impact on how the play is perceived. We should make sure our creation is critiquing something, but be mindful of how we do so. If our decisions drive people away rather than make them think, we are not helping our cause.
So go for it, put on a controversial play, paint something unexpected, walk around in a grass suit, sing an impassioned song, write an emboldened poem -- but make sure the message that you want to say or the thing you are critiquing is clear, otherwise it may turn into white noise. Or worse, it may shut people down to what you are saying.
See the things I think about given a book and an afternoon in a coffee shop?
Until next time, create and critique.
I am still reading through "UnChristian," and though I'm getting closer to the end, the vast amount of stuff that is being talked about still kind of makes my head spin. The chapters I read today were about the ideas that Christians appear to outsiders to be too political and too judgemental.
Truth be told, I couldn't really connect with the too political standpoint. I don't put much thought into that stuff (which is a down fall on my part, I know). But one point that was made really intrigued me. David Kinnaman referenced Michelangelo's philosophy, "Critique by creating." Kinnaman had a helpful suggestion for Christlike people: "Rather than being known for criticism, let's learn to step in and work toward a solution for the problems we see."
I like Michelangelo's idea -- say something about the world through what you make. Make things that promote something better, something positive for the world around you.
Art for the sake of art is something that my opinion for is starting to change. I am not against doing art because you love it, because it moves you, but I think there should be more reason than just the focus on yourself. Art is meant to be seen and experienced by others, and those experiences that you create can have an impact on others that you don't realize when first creating something. I don't think you should over analyze it, but I think you should be aware that what you are creating impacts people.
Theatre artists don't rehearse for months just to put on a show to an empty theatre. We want our work to be seen, to move people, to change their attitudes even a little from where they were when they walked in to where they were when they walked out. The director or designer's decisions make a huge impact on how the play is perceived. We should make sure our creation is critiquing something, but be mindful of how we do so. If our decisions drive people away rather than make them think, we are not helping our cause.
So go for it, put on a controversial play, paint something unexpected, walk around in a grass suit, sing an impassioned song, write an emboldened poem -- but make sure the message that you want to say or the thing you are critiquing is clear, otherwise it may turn into white noise. Or worse, it may shut people down to what you are saying.
See the things I think about given a book and an afternoon in a coffee shop?
Until next time, create and critique.
Picture That
I uploaded pictures again, so I'm going to post some. They make me happy.
After helping with poverty simulation. :)
The hair dying with kool-aid adventure. I still kinda smell like black cherry...
You can kinda tell it's red. Not a great picture of it.
Our adventure in Austin. Katie and me in front of the capital building.
Katie and Jillian with George W. Bush's portrait. They are goofy.
Goofy enough to take what Jillian called a sorority pic in front of a painting of the Alamo.
Part of the Austin skyline. The capital is way in the back ground.
Until next time, picture that.
Until next time, picture that.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Gypsy Blessings
Today was our day off. The four interns left in Waco on this long weekend made the two hour trip down to Austin for the day. It was wonderful. We got to escape Waco for a day, take in some cool sights, and get a taste for a really unique city. We all got to pick a place we wanted to go to the most, so that was the parameters of the day's adventure.
The first place we stopped was Jillian's pick: the Whole Foods Market, which was amazing. A huge grocery store with organic and whole foods that had all kinds of restaurants hidden all over the store. It was neat, and as much as I like the idea of whole foods, I don't think I will ever be able to fork out that much money for a loaf of bread or a jar of peanut butter.
Stop number two was half of mine: A book store. I didn't buy anything, but I do have a few plays I need to look up on amazon.com to see if I can find them cheap.
Stop three was Bruce's pick: the Texas state capital. It was really neat, Jillian crossed a rope she wasn't supposed to and sat in a congressman's seat, got some cool pictures. Not really my thing, but I tried not to be a downer on Bruce's pick. It was cool. Also, Texas had a woman governor in the 1920's, which I think is awesome. Go Texas! Below is a picture of us in the house of representatives. It tells a story of how we would be if we were at a meeting of representatives. A picture says a thousand words, right? :)
Stop four was the vintage shopping district, which was a combined choice of Jillian, Katie, and mine. We parked the van and went exploring. It was so neat. I found a really cool elephant broach in a costume shop and an awesome news boy cap in a bright, geometric shapes pattern. Love it. I love second hand shops, such treasure troves.
I think the highlight of my day happened an open air market. I stopped at a booth that had some really neat jewelry and the guy told me it was his student's work, that he was very proud of it. He then asked me what my art is, and I said theatre, mainly directing and stage managing. He got really excited, asked me what cult classic I've directed lately. None, I told him, I'm only in college. Then he started listing off his favorites, Rocky Horror and Life of Bryan making his top picks. He invited me to look at his table, keeping the conversation going, talking about theatre. He made a comment about my hat, said it was very "Partridge Family," then started singing the theme song. Then he went into the Brady Bunch, and when he asked me how old I was, he laughed and apologized for taking me on a journey before my time. He was so nice, a hippie who made really cool jewelry and loves to travel. Then, for no reason, he gave me a gift. When I tried to refuse, he insisted, saying he was a gypsy at heart, and it's what he does. He gave me what he called a goddess, told me to hang it anywhere I needed a goddess in my life. I don't think I need a goddess, I have an Almighty God, but it is very special to me nonetheless. He said all he hoped is that I remember him. I can't remember his name, but I will always remember him. I think it would be wonderful to be a gypsy.
It was such a neat day, ending on Indian food and coffee. Austin is such a cool city, very chic and bohemian, artsy. I loved it. I could see myself living there. Live music capital of Texas, but a pretty small theatre scene. A neat place to start a theatre and see where it went, help bring that art to the city.
I am so happy with how our day went, it was beautiful.
Until next time, take a journey, meet a gypsy if you can.
The first place we stopped was Jillian's pick: the Whole Foods Market, which was amazing. A huge grocery store with organic and whole foods that had all kinds of restaurants hidden all over the store. It was neat, and as much as I like the idea of whole foods, I don't think I will ever be able to fork out that much money for a loaf of bread or a jar of peanut butter.
Stop number two was half of mine: A book store. I didn't buy anything, but I do have a few plays I need to look up on amazon.com to see if I can find them cheap.
Stop three was Bruce's pick: the Texas state capital. It was really neat, Jillian crossed a rope she wasn't supposed to and sat in a congressman's seat, got some cool pictures. Not really my thing, but I tried not to be a downer on Bruce's pick. It was cool. Also, Texas had a woman governor in the 1920's, which I think is awesome. Go Texas! Below is a picture of us in the house of representatives. It tells a story of how we would be if we were at a meeting of representatives. A picture says a thousand words, right? :)
Stop four was the vintage shopping district, which was a combined choice of Jillian, Katie, and mine. We parked the van and went exploring. It was so neat. I found a really cool elephant broach in a costume shop and an awesome news boy cap in a bright, geometric shapes pattern. Love it. I love second hand shops, such treasure troves.
I think the highlight of my day happened an open air market. I stopped at a booth that had some really neat jewelry and the guy told me it was his student's work, that he was very proud of it. He then asked me what my art is, and I said theatre, mainly directing and stage managing. He got really excited, asked me what cult classic I've directed lately. None, I told him, I'm only in college. Then he started listing off his favorites, Rocky Horror and Life of Bryan making his top picks. He invited me to look at his table, keeping the conversation going, talking about theatre. He made a comment about my hat, said it was very "Partridge Family," then started singing the theme song. Then he went into the Brady Bunch, and when he asked me how old I was, he laughed and apologized for taking me on a journey before my time. He was so nice, a hippie who made really cool jewelry and loves to travel. Then, for no reason, he gave me a gift. When I tried to refuse, he insisted, saying he was a gypsy at heart, and it's what he does. He gave me what he called a goddess, told me to hang it anywhere I needed a goddess in my life. I don't think I need a goddess, I have an Almighty God, but it is very special to me nonetheless. He said all he hoped is that I remember him. I can't remember his name, but I will always remember him. I think it would be wonderful to be a gypsy.
It was such a neat day, ending on Indian food and coffee. Austin is such a cool city, very chic and bohemian, artsy. I loved it. I could see myself living there. Live music capital of Texas, but a pretty small theatre scene. A neat place to start a theatre and see where it went, help bring that art to the city.
I am so happy with how our day went, it was beautiful.
Until next time, take a journey, meet a gypsy if you can.
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