Power of Words

You know those times when you are wired but exhausted, when sleep is needed, but won't come because your mind is spinning and every cell in your body is screaming, "Get up! Don't just lay here! There is something you need to be doing!"

Tonight is one of those nights. It's pushing 12:30 and I am no closer to going to sleep than half of the cast that went to Applebee's at 11:00, the invitation I turned down so I could go to sleep. Go figure, huh?

Today was one of those days when many realizations were made, when I saw some things I didn't want to see, reminded of things I'd rather forget, but was still loved despite the crap I bring to the table every day.

Our use of language is something that we often take for granted. We talk to be heard, to say our opinions, to get rid of silence, to hear ourselves, to work through issues, to encourage and love. We often write for the same reasons. However, our words written or typed are around for a lot longer. Something spoken can be sluffed off, forgotten easier than something that is written down, posted somewhere.

I am beginning to realize the thin line I have been flirting with in writing this blog. If anything I have posted has offended you in anyway, I am truly and deeply sorry. It was never, ever my intention to hurt anyone with my words.

Today during our intern meeting, as well as the last couple weeks at church, we have been talking a lot about our spiritual gifts. I like to think that my main spiritual gifts are teaching and encouraging. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than giving someone a hug and telling them how great they are doing or lifting some one's spirits. I am encouraged when others tell me they are encouraged by me.

But words that can cripple can come forth just as easily as words that can encourage. I am realizing this more and more. Truth be told, this scares me. I understand the power that my words can have on someone, the power their words have on me, and it scares me to have this power.

I am not going to remove anything I have posted on this blog before because at the time, what I wrote was truth, it was necessary for me to write for my own reasons and I don't feel as though I have to defend myself beyond that. And I will not promise to make any future posts completely harm free, I have no power over what one person takes offensive. All I can ask is that in reading my blog, you know that the people I am working with, living alongside, and learning from have become very, very special to me. I love each and everyone one of them and value them dearly. Remember that, please.

This summer has already shown me a lot about myself, a lot that I didn't want to see. I think that is a good thing, I think I am becoming a stronger person because of it. Thank you for taking this moon journey with me.

Until next time, realize your power and use it for good.