I have survived death week. Barely. My body has adjusted to an average 3:00 a.m. bedtime, I have disregarded a few personal hygiene tasks, I have maybe cut corners on a few things I had to do, but I am alive.
Right now, that's all that counts.
In about 5 days I will be going home. Can't really decide how I feel about that yet. Excited to be done with this semester, not so excited to leave yet. Not that I'll be home for that long, I leave for Ethiopia the day after Christmas. A lot of things are going to change from this semester to next. I'm ready for the good changes, not looking forward to the other ones. They may not be bad, per say, but not what I want to think about yet.
Long story short, I have too many friends studying abroad or graduating next semester. Not fair.
Plus, I have the joy of not only writing papers and taking tests this week, but also applying for student teaching stuff. It's rather overwhelming. And really fricking scary. I should be writing placement essays now, but I just want to put it off. The longer I avoid, the longer I can tell myself I have more time than I do.
It really rather sucks to grow up. Or maybe just to have to change routines. I really like my college routine.
I'm just in the process of convincing myself that I know what I want to do with my life. Or that what I think I want to do is actually what I want to do. Or even that I'll like what I think I want to do.
It would be so much easier to just find a theatre somewhere and be a starving artist. Teachers have way more responsibility than I feel like I can handle right now...
This is such a depressing post. I need to be done now.
Until next time.
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