Apathy

I don't remember ever feeling this much apathy for what I'm doing...

...or not doing, as the case may be.

There are 26 days until graduation. Not that I am graduating, it still seems to apply to me. I won't be back on campus next year, so it feels the same. At least I think it does.

I'm just tired. Tired of being at college. Tired of going to classes. Tired of not caring about my classes. Tired of not sleeping well. Tired of drama that is going on. Just tired.

Yet, in the midst of the crappy apathy, there are moments of gold that I am trying to hold close. Moments with friends. Hours spent in laughter and rants before bed. Playful teasing exchanged. Watching my friends rock what they are working on. Secretly enjoying the terrible musical theatre soundtrack they all love. Working on the senior show. Learning something new about someone I've spent so much time with.

I suppose that's life. Finding the little shinny bits in the murky muck of everything else. I'll try and keep that in mind after I take my theology test I've barely studied for in half an hour.

It's amazing how we grow tired of somewhere when it comes to the time to leave. God works that way, I guess. He knows it would be hard for me to leave here otherwise.

Until next time.