Ending Remarks

It's the end of the world as I know it. Literally. Tomorrow, if the world survives, will be my last day in Chicago. At least for awhile.

It is a strange realization. Shouldn't be. I've know this day was coming for the past few weeks. I just am not a fan of endings. But then again, who is?

 At this time, have three quotes running through my head:

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." by R.E.M.

 I just find this ironic. Not sure what the significance is at the moment, it just makes me happy.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." by Semisonic.

I really like this song (Closing Time, if you didn't know). Classic 90s. I actually wrote this quote on the wall of hopes at the show I'm working on. Someone's comment back: "conservation of energy, bitch." Obviously they didn't get the reference. Whatever, it made me giggle.

"I hope, my Catherine, you are not getting out of humor with home because it is not so grand as Northanger. That would be turning your visit into evil indeed. Wherever you are you should always be contented, but especially at home, because there you spend the most of your time." from 'Northanger Abbey' by Jane Austin.

Obviously, the last has the most impact on my current situation. I am not used to Jane preaching to me, but this morning she convicted me. Being home and being contented is something that has been very hard for me for the past 4 years.

But what I also realized last night and this morning is that i don't feel contented in Chicago anymore either. It was a realization not terribly welcome, I will be honest. My season in Chicago is changing just as the cold weather is sweeping into the city. Ironic, is it not?

 I just don't know what this means for me. This is a major time of transition, I just don't know what I'm transitioning into. Frustrating. So very frustrating. I just want to know my real next step.

 I still can't see going home as my next step. It feels like going backwards. Good things will happen while I'm there, I have no doubt. But it is not ideal, not by a long ways. Sorry beloved family. You are wonderful; Orchard, not so much.

 Then again, the would may end tonight. Maybe I won't have to worry about it. Yeah, not counting on that...

Until next time.