Do you ever get so busy that you forget why you're doing these things? You know there is a purpose, you are working towards something, but what?
That's what this week has been for me. I have constantly been busy, but I kind of feel like a hamster on a wheel. I'm doing things, but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere.
Most of my to do list this weekend have been for future projects, things I still have a week or more to do. No motivation to do them, there is no urgency yet. My theatre tasks are either dying down, stagnant, or haven't started. It is kind of frustrating. Constantly busy, but nothing to show for the work.
But I was reminded of a conversation I had with one of my English professors a few weeks ago. She was talking about one of her colleagues she's met along the way, Harold Heie. He complied a list of restorative values that are God's will for those who profess commitment to the Christian faith. The last one on the list is my favorite:
"God wills that Christians be agents for beauty, showing appreciation for beauty both in God's creation and in the artistic creation of humans, and fostering the further creation of such beauty."
What a lovely notion, to be an agent for beauty. Puts my tasks in perspective a bit. The historical research I'm doing is an aid for the audience that will see the show, see the beauty the ensemble has created. The behind the scenes planning and organizing that is happening on a small scale before rehearsals start will make the journey of beauty that the musical becomes run smoother. The poems and stories I'm writing and responding to are fostering beautiful words from learning writers. The unit plan I'm writing is gathering beauty and compiling texts to foster deep thinking and beautiful creations in a future classroom.
Makes my frustration lessen if only a bit. Gives me a bit of oomph to keep going, if only for another couple hours. What I am doing is considered beautiful, if only for the fact that I am working towards something I love.
Until next time, what beauty are you fostering?
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